My Recovery

I have no doubt God will steward me out through the rest of my life. I have no doubt because 15 yrs ago I came into this room dead inside. Not defenseless. But otherwise resigned that I was a hopeless cause. And then you proceeded to disarm me by giving me an understanding of what was happening to me by speaking of your own bottom and the journey of finding the way out. The paradox is that you did not know me, but I could not escape the truth that your bottom and my now seemed familiar in a way that left me with the seed of hope. In the end it is simple for me I am afraid of losing what I think is mine, or I am afraid of not getting what I think I need. But at the center of this double edge sword you showed me a way out. And one day at a time it has been true, from then till now, and so I now have a faith that works. Even in disbelief.

My bottom: Have you ever found yourself at the edge of a cliff but on both sides.

You can’t live, but you can’t bring yourself to bring yourself to an end. To commit egocide.

My Self: Exaggerated sense of need to thrive. Defect of character: Overly Competative with others. Needy

My Self: Slightly Anarchistic. Defect of Character: Self Destructive. Lack of trust, disbelieving stance in general.

Solution: Let Love heal the separation.

Prescription: 20 minutes in the Morning, 20 minutes at night. Good sleep.